Letting Go.

It all started on March 22nd, 2009. The day my world officially came down. I didn't think that day would ever come but it did. I had tried to avoid it about a year and a half but it was pointless because every day it got closer. At school my best friend Sammy and I tried to ignore the subject but every time I thought about it I felt like breaking down and crying.

I tried to live each day like it was my last, enjoy the friendships and make each moment as memorable as i could. But I was only kdding myself. It was a complete joke, trying to convince myself that iwas going to be ok when it wasnt going to be.

I felt like such a sook. Crying everytime i herd of what was going to happen o the 22nd of March, 2009. As the day got closer, I felt as if the control I used to have of the world was slipping through my fingers.

Finally the day came and it was time to face the music. Driving in the car, arriving at Sydney International Airport. hands shaking, holding my fragile heart in my cold shaking hands. Was this the end? Would i ever be able to truly laugh . smile and enjoy life when i was going to be somewhere where my heart did not choose to be?

Taking the luggage in my hands and walking towards the check-in point. Family and friends blur in the backround, with tears and tissues doing from one persons hand to another. I slowly turn around and see my best friend standing there, with her arms by her side but anxiously waiting for me to make the first move.

I take a step forward and without even thinking about it I dive into her arms and she accpets me in. Holding her as tight as i could, holding her as close as i could. Feeling as the world had stood still. Like there was no one else on the airport floor. Just me and her. Two aching hearts thats were twining into one. We both felt the same pain, shared the same thoughts. On the speaker iI herd the passengers boarding the flight. I was still there hugging her and feeling as if was entering reality once again. I make a motion to move and she grasps onto me tighter and says ''Don't let go''. Another tear rolls down my eyes. It is as if I haven't cried enough, the water works come on again. I start to cry like a baby and through all the sobbing and crying i manage to say to her ''Never''. Then I grab my bags with my shaking hadns and turn around trying to not look back, I walk towards the sliding doors and take a deep breath and face my haunting future.

Insanity = Me

A year ago it was the same window but different view. Didn't think time would fly this fast but it has. It's amazing how much a person matures in a year. So i thought.

I think people overestimate the radical changes a person goes through when they move their whole life from one country to another. All the adaptions and cultural changes a person has to go through to fit into society. Enough changes to drive a person insane.

Thats how i feel like has happened. Insanity. A crazy way of looking at the world. Everything is so different. You could say bad different but that totally depends on the person. Like me. I believe that the bad different has over taken my life.

Insanity is the new king of my life.